Funnybot in New York
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: The Funnybot returns with a plan to suck all the funny out of comedians


After the battle of Game of Thrones fans, Kyle, Stan and Wendy were walking

Stan: So wait, you and Heidi have been dating?

Kyle: Yeah

Stan: Dude, why didn't you tell me? I would've kept a secret

Kyle: Because you would tell Wendy, then Wendy will tell the girls, then Nelly will tell Butters, then Butters will tell fat ass

Wendy: Well we could've made a promise to keep it

Kyle: Maybe

Stan: How is Heidi gonna react once you tell her you told Cartman?

Kyle: I don't know

They made it to Turner residence

Kyle: I have to tell her

Stan: Ok dude. Your funeral

Stan and Wendy just continued walking

Kyle took a deep breath and knocked on the door

Heidi's Dad answered

Mr Turner: Oh hey Kyle

Kyle: Hi Mr Turner. Is Heidi home?

Mr Turner: Yes she is. Heidi. Your boyfriend's here

Heidi came downstairs

Heidi: Hey babe what's going-Oh my God babe! What happened to your eye?

Kyle: Heidi. Could I talk to you somewhere private?

Mr Turner gave a Kyle a somewhat suspicious look

Kyle: Mr Turner don't worry

Mr Turner: Ok. I'll leave you two to it

Heidi and Kyle walked up to her room

Heidi: What is it you wanna tell me? And how did you get that black eye?

Kyle: Heidi. I know we were supposed to keep our relationship a secret. But I told Cartman

Heidi: What?!

Kyle: Let me explain

Heidi: Ok

Kyle: Huh? You're just gonna let me explain?

Heidi: I'm not Wendy, Kyle

Kyle: Alright. I told Cartman about our relationship was because he had the script to the original finale of Game of Thrones and Wendy had to destroy it because she hates Game of Thrones and because the script was turning everyone into douchebags. I tried everything to get him to drop it until I decided to tell him something that would piss him off. I told him we were in a relationship and than he beat the crap out of me and that's how I got this black eye

Heidi: Babe. Does it still hurt?

Kyle: No

Heidi: Kyle. I love you no matter what. And you decided to sacrifice our secret in order to save the world. I'm not mad, I'm just glad you did something so noble. Although it will be annoying that Eric will be begging me to come back to him now that he knows

Kyle: I know

Heidi: Listen Kyle. Me and parents are going to New York next Saturday and they allowed me to invite four people

Kyle: You asking me to come to New York?

Heidi: Yeah

Kyle: I've never been to New York. I'd love to go

Heidi: Thanks Kyle

Kyle: Who else you plan to invite?

Kyle: Maybe Stan, Wendy and Jimmy

Kyle: Oh cool

Heidi: Just make sure they don't tell Eric

Kyle: I will never tell Cartman

Heidi: Thanks babe

Heidi hugs Kyle

Heidi: I love you Kyle

Kyle: I love you too

Mr Turner: Hey you two aren't showing each other's private parts?

Kyle: Huh? What the fuck?! No!

Mr Turner: Good

Heidi: Yeah. When I broke up with Eric, he got his revenge by telling my Dad I showed him my va-

Kyle: I don't wanna know

Next Saturday

The Turner's, Kyle, Stan, Wendy and Jimmy were ready to get going

Sharon: You have everything sweetie?

Stan: Yes Mom

Sharon: If you get lost, you have your phone on ya?

Stan: Yes

Sharon: Ok. Stan don't buy drugs

Stan: I won't. Why do you think I'd buy drugs?

Sharon starts to have a flashback of her getting high on cocaine in New York

Sharon: No reason

Heidi: Now before we get on the bus, did anyone tell Cartman?

Everyone: No

Heidi: Good

They enter the bus

Jimmy: Wow. New York City. Do you think we-we-we-we-we'll be able to stop by the Apollo theatre?

Wendy: I don't know Jimmy. I heard a lot of comedians were disappearing in New York

Stan sat next to Wendy

Kyle sat next to Heidi

While Jimmy sat on his own

Heidi: You sure you didn't tell anyone about our trip?

Kyle: I'm sure honey

As the bus sets off the camera pans down to Cartman who is hanging underneath the bus

Cape Fear theme plays

Cartman: Ha Ha. Stupid assholes! I read Wendy's Facebook. I am gonna kill you Khal and than I'll... Oh fuck speed bump

As the bus went over the speed bump and Cartman hit is head on it

Cartman: Ow! The fuck?

The bus went over another speed bump and Cartman hit his head again

Cartman: Fuck you!

As the bus went over another speed bump and Cartman hit his head again. Cartman fell off

Cartman: Ow! Mem! Mem! Mem! Help! I'm fucking bleeding! Somebody help!

The bus stopped at New York

The passengers got off

Me Turner: Alright. I need a lot of you to stick together. And meet us at Central Park at 7:30. If you get lost, you have your map and your phone to call us. Got it?

Everyone: Got it

Jimmy: Got-Got-Got it

Kyle: Hey Stan could I talk to you?

Stan: Sure Kyle

Kyle: Alone

Stan: Ok

Wendy notices something under the bus

Wendy: Hey. Who's jacket is this?

Wendy grabs a red jacket that looks like Cartman's

Stan: What's wrong Kyle?

Kyle: I'm planning to give Heidi a gift. Because today is our anniversary

Kyle showed Stan the gift and it was a necklace with a blue emerald at the centre

Stan: Why is this so private?

Heidi: Is everything alright?

Stan: Yeah. We're fine. Come on Kyle what's wrong?

Kyle: I just need to know what's the best place and time to give Heidi the gift

Stan: Maybe In Central Park

Kyle: When?

Stan: I don't know. When do you think is right?

Kyle: Well you've been in a relationship longer than me. So when do you think is right?

Stan: I usually just give it to Wendy when the time feels right

Kyle: What time is right with you?

Stan: Kyle. I'm not Hitch

Stan walked off

Kyle: Where you going?

Stan: Me, Wendy and Jimmy are gonna go visit the Apollo theatre.

Kyle: What dude? I need my wing man

Stan: My only advice is Kyle just don't fuck up

Stan, Wendy and Jimmy left Kyle and Heidi to explore New York

Kyle: Damnit

Heidi: Hey honey. Ready to explore New York

Kyle looked over Heidi to see Stan giving him a double thumbs up

Kyle: Sure babe

Kyle and Heidi held each other's hand

Stan, Wendy and Jimmy make it to the Apollo theatre

Jimmy: Wow the Ap-Ap-Ap-Apollo theatre. The house of c-c-comedy

Stan: Wasn't it destroyed about 5 years ago?

Jimmy: Nah. The r-r-r-roof fell off. And I think it killed a f-f-f-few people. I guess the show was k-k-k-killer

Stan and Wendy just stare at Jimmy

Jimmy: What a terrific audience

Wendy: Jimmy I'm usually nice. But that joke was pretty sick

Jimmy: I mean come on. Some-Some-sometimes we take our jokes a lit-lit-lit-little too far. I mean look at Trey Parker and Matt-Matt-Matt-Matt Stone

Stan: Hey is that Charlie Sheen?

The man who looked like Charlie Sheen ran off from them

Stan: I guess he doesn't like his fans

Jimmy: Or maybe he's try-try-try-try-trying to hide his drugs

Wendy laughs

Wendy: Sorry. That was a good joke

Suddenly a man in a trench coat ran after the man who looked like Charlie Sheen and tackled him

Stan: Oh my God!

Jimmy: I guess he-he-he does have drugs on him

Wendy laughs

Stan ran after the man holding Charlie Sheen hostage

Charlie Sheen: Help! Help!

Stan: I'm coming Charlie Sheen!

The man in the trench coat threw a smoke bomb

Stan grabbed the man as he pulled his trench coat, he saw that the man looked like a pig

Not descriptively, literally

Stan: AAAAAHHHHHH!

The pig person punched Stan knocking him onto the ground and jumped in the sewer with Charlie Sheen

Wendy and Jimmy showed up

Wendy: Stan!

Stan managed to sit straight

Wendy: You ok? What happened to Charlie?

Stan: He was taken into a sewer by a pig

Wendy : A pig?

Jimmy: You sure it wasn't Kevin James?

Stan laughed

Stan: Ok that was a good one

Meanwhile

Kyle and Heidi were near the Empire State Building

Heidi: Kyle I'm glad you came on this trip with me

Kyle: Me too Heidi

They go to a nearby store which had a TV playing the news

Announcer: This is channel 5 news with Tom Pusslicker

Tom: Good morning. Our top story, Bill Murray is missing. It turns out, Bill Murray has been missing for 3 days. And still no word has come about his whereabouts. He is not the first comedian to vanish as many other comedians such as Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Melissa McCartney and many others are missing. But on the lighter side unfunny comedian Amy Schumer will be in New York today to perform a stand up show. Really? Amy Schumer? Why isn't she missing? If Pauly Shore and Rob Schneider can disappear, why can't she?

Heidi: Oh my God Amy Schumer!

Kyle: You like Amy Schumer?

Heidi: Like her. I think she is hilarious. I've always wanted to see her do stand up somewhere. I do wish it wasn't so expensive

Kyle: Well Maybe. I could try and get us to see her

Heidi: Really babe?

Kyle: Yeah. And that's a promise

Heidi: Oh Kyle. I love you so much

Heidi hugged Kyle and Kyle hugged Heidi back

Kyle (Speaking In his thoughts): Why the fuck did you say that Kyle? Now I have to find some crazy scheme to get us to see her

Heidi: Come on Kyle. I wanna see Times Square

Kyle (Speaking In his thoughts): God. I wish Token was here. He'd give me some of his cash

Meanwhile

Stan, Wendy and Jimmy enter the sewer

Wendy: Great. This is the last place I want my boyfriend to take me, the sewers

Stan: I'm sorry Wendy. But there's a man who hasn't been funny for years who needs our help

Jimmy: I wonder what w-w-w-will happen if I rescue Charlie Sheen I cou-cou-could get an award

Stan: Don't you mean we?

Jimmy: Yeah. Sorry

Wendy: Wait I here something

They hide in a nearby corner and they see what the noise was

It was a Funnybot

Funnybot: Detecting life forms. Detecting life forms. Detecting life forms

Stan: Shit! Funnybot

Wendy: I thought you two reprogrammed it

Jimmy: It must be-be-be going back to his-his-his-his old ways

Stan: Shhhhh

They silenced themselves and the Funnybot wheeled past them

Funnybot: No life forms detected. Awkward

Stan: Do you think it has something to do with this?

Jimmy: Well it did put a lot of Comedians out of business so may-may-Maybe

Wendy: We gotta do something

Stan: Of course we do

Jimmy: Out of all the pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-people in the world, why does random shit always happen to you Stan?

Stan: I've been asking myself that for a very long time Jimmy

Meanwhile

The Funnybot entered a room with other Funnybots

Funnybot 2: Any life forms detected?

Funnybot 1: Negative. No life forms detected

Funnybots: Awkward

Charlie Sheen was still being held by the pig people

Charlie: Look. Whatever it is you want with me, if it's cocaine I hate to tell you I've been sober for years

Funnybot 3: That's not what we want Sheen

Charlie Sheen: Oh my God! You want revenge on me for my role in the Scary Movie, movies

Funnybot 4: Wrong again

Funnybot 1: We want your funny

Charlie Sheen: I'm sorry. What again?

Funnybot 3: We have a plan to suck the funny out of you

Funnybot 4: And that funny will be processed onto me

Charlie Sheen: Why?

Funnybot 4: We've been capturing American and Canadian comedians so we can suck the funny out them

Charlie Sheen: So you can become funnier?

Funnybot 4: Enough questioning, take him away, take him away

Charlie Sheen: Jesus. They got you the first time

The pig people take Charlie Sheen away

Meanwhile

Kyle and Heidi were sitting across the Statue of Liberty

Kyle looked at the gift he was supposed to give Heidi

Kyle (Speaking In his thoughts): Why the fuck am I doing this? I can't afford Amy Schumer tickets. God. I won't break a promise to her I never will

Heidi: You ok babe?

Kyle: Of course I am

Heidi: You sure babe?

Kyle: Yeah Heidi

Heidi and Kyle just cuddled

Kyle: Excuse me babe, I need to go to the bathroom

Heidi: Ok babe. Don't be long

Kyle walked along the walk way

Kyle: What am I going to do, maybe I should just come clean I will never get those Amy Schumer tickets

A guy in a trench coat: Psst. Come here

Kyle: Yeah

A guy in a trench coat: I have Amy Schumer tickets right here

Kyle: Why should I trust you? You sure these are real?

A guy in a trench coat: Of course they are ask anybody

Kyle: Look I don't want to screw up my relationship, so how much are they?

A guy in a trench coat: 10 dollars each

Kyle: Wow really that cheap?

A guy in a trench coat: Yeah. Pretty cheap

Kyle: Alright. Thank you. You just saved my balls

The guy in a trench coat removed the coat revealing Cartman

Cartman: Yes Khal. Try and save your relationship

Kyle walked up to Heidi

Kyle: Hey babe. I got the tickets

Heidi: Really babe? Oh thank you

Heidi hugged Kyle and Kyle hugged back

Meanwhile

Stan, Wendy and Jimmy continued walking down the sewer

Wendy: Eww! I think I just stepped in something that died

Stan: Wendy. I know this isn't the most romantic location right now. But there are people's lives at stake

Jimmy: Wait. Do you hear that?

They heard high pitched screaming

Stan: Wait. I know that scream

Jimmy: F-F-F-follow the scream

They ran, following the scream

They found where the scream was coming from

It was coming from Kevin Hart

Kevin: OH GOD! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Stan: Don't worry Mister Hart. We'll get you out

Kevin: Yeah it's like that I went to McDonalds to get a blanket and they said won't be long sir, but it took them 45 minutes to get me my blanket and I complained to the President and he said "I had to help him build his wall"

As Kevin continued to rant on

Jimmy spoke

Jimmy: Jesus Christ. He's on an-an-an-another rant that goes to-to-to-totally nowhere

Stan: Just ignore him and move on

They move to the next cell which had Kevin James

Kevin James: Oh God. I'm so fat, I wish I could lose this weight. Maybe after another slice of this cake will do

Stan: Oh for God sake. Stop joking about yourself being fat and lose some weight. That is the only thing you do! We get that you're fat! If you hate yourself being fat! Lose some weight!

Wendy: Wow!

Stan: Sorry. I really hate Kevin James' comedy

They continued to move on

Stan: Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen sat in his cell not wearing any pants

Charlie Sheen: Oh great. It's that kid that tried to save me. Nice job hero

Stan covered Wendy's eyes

Stan: Sheen. My girlfriend is standing next to me. Please pull your pants up

Jimmy: Maybe he's just try-try-try-trying to shit out the drugs that are lodged in his rectum

Charlie Sheen: Hey! I've been sober for years, so don't start dissing me

Charlie pulled his pants up

Stan: What were they doing to you?

Charlie Sheen: The Funnybots are trying to suck all the funny out of American comedians and Canadian comedians. And process it into their leader

Wendy: For what purpose?

Charlie Sheen: I don't know. Either to make itself funnier or make Adam Sandler movies funny again

Adam Sandler: Hey Charlie. I'm in the cell next to you!

Charlie Sheen: Well I saw your latest Netflix's film Sandler. It sucked ass

Adam Sandler: It has Jennifer Aniston

Charlie Sheen: I don't care if it has Jennifer Aniston. Just because something has Jennifer Aniston doesn't make it funnier or hotter

Stan: Come on let's leave them to it

They come across a door and opened it

When they opened it, Wendy screamed

Because there were two Funnybots standing in their way

The Funnybots were watching Just Go With It, but pausing on Jennifer Aniston

Funnybot 3: You just caught us pausing on Jennifer Aniston in Just Go With It

Funnybots: Awkward

Funnybot 2: But seriously. You will follow us in our direction

Funnybot 2 moved

Funnybot 3: Immediately!

Stan, Wendy and Jimmy followed the Funnybots

Meanwhile

Kyle and Heidi made it to the venue where Amy Schumer was playing

Kyle: This is it babe

Heidi: I'm so excited

They gave the tickets to the usher

The usher scanned them

The usher: Sorry these are fake

Kyle: What? Could you scan them again?

The Usher: Sorry. These belong to her 2017 tour

Heidi: What?!

The usher: So I'm afraid you can't see Amy Schumer. I mean who'd want to? She isn't even that funny

Heidi: Kyle. You said you bought those!

When Heidi turned to look at Kyle, Kyle was gone

Heidi: Kyle?

Kyle ran as fast as he could

Kyle ran into an ally way and started to cry

Kyle (Crying): Why did I do that? I should've just came clean to Heidi. I should've looked at those tickets

Voice: Hey. Why are you crying?

And that voice was Amy Schumer

Kyle: Amy Schumer? But don't you have a live show?

Amy Schumer: I do

Kyle: Than why aren't you going?

Amy Schumer: Because I only came to New York to find the missing comedians

Kyle: Missing comedians?

Amy Schumer: Yeah. Bill Murray, Kristen Bell, Kate McKinnon and many others disappeared in New York

Kyle: But What about your live show?

Amy Schumer: They'll just have to wait for a couple of hours. So why were you crying?

Kyle: I promised my girlfriend I'd take her to see you. She's a big fan of you. But I didn't have the tickets

Amy Schumer: Why did you say it Than?

Kyle: I don't know. I guess it just came out of my mouth. I've never been in a serious relationship before until now. And I don't wanna screw this up

Kyle continued to cry

Amy Schumer: Wow. You really are a bad boyfriend. You should've seen this one guy I once dated, he-

Kyle: I DON'T THINK YOUR DUMB COMEDY IS GONNA HELP ME!

Amy Schumer stood in shock

Kyle: I am so sorry

Amy Schumer: No it's ok. Listen, since I can tell you're gonna avoid your girlfriend for a bit, do you wanna help me find the missing comedians?

Kyle: Yeah ok sure

Amy Schumer: Good. I was using my Kevin Hart scream o'metre since he has the highest pitched scream in Hollywood and I got a signal down here in the sewers

Kyle: Oh Gross! It's gonna stink of pee down there

Amy Schumer: Would you rather deal with your supposed ex girlfriend or smell of piss? Because option two seems more straight forward

Kyle: Fine

Meanwhile

The two Funnybots were escorting Stan, Wendy and Jimmy to their leader

Funnybot 2: Jimmy Valmer AKA the creator of the fish sticks joke has been acquired

Funnybot 4: Why are you taking him to me? You do this every time Funnybot Williams. For your stupid awkwardness, you must be exterminated!

Funnybot 4 uses his laser beam to exterminate Funnybot Williams and Funnybot Williams disintegrates

Leaving only energy beam

Funnybot 3: I'll take him

Funnybot 3 takes Jimmy away

Jimmy: Y-Y-Y-you can't do this to me!

Wendy: Why are you kidnapping comedians exactly?

Funnybot 4: We are kidnapping comedians so we can suck the funny out of them

Stan: We know. But why do you wanna suck the funny out of them?

Funnybot 1: So my leader, Funnybot Pryor can tell a joke that can kill people

Funnybot Pryor: I was inspired after I saw that Month Python sketch and I decided I should make a joke. I wrote some jokes, but they didn't work when I tried it on subjects. I than got struck by lightning he next day, than it hit me, I could steal all he funny out of every single comedian from America and Canada so that way I could tell my joke

Stan: Why not British comedians also?

Wendy: Or Mexican comedians?

Funnybot 1: Plot holes are for comment sections only

Funnybot Pryor: Thank you. Funnybot Wilder

Funnybot Wilder: What shall we do with them?

Funnybot Pryor: They shall witness my ultimate power once I acquire Amy Schumer

Stan: Oh please. Amy Schumer isn't funny

Wendy gave Stan a stern look

Stan: I mean, she isn't Melissa McCartney funny...I mean she isn't really Kathy Griffin funny...Oh shit!

Meanwhile Amy Schumer and Kyle were still walking through the sewers

Kyle: Oh it's gonna take me nine showers to clean the stench off

Amy Schumer: That's the same amount of showers I took, to wipe the shit stain known as "I Feel Pretty"

Kyle sniggered

Kyle: Ok. I'm not gonna lie, that was actually pretty funny

They suddenly hear splashing

They hide in a corner

The splashing came from the pig people

Amy Schumer: Pig people

Kyle: Huh?

Amy Schumer: Pig people. They've been sighted in New York for a while now

Kyle: Where did they come from?

Amy Schumer: I don't know

They continued to move

But they were stopped by Funnybot Wilder

Funnybot Wilder: Amy Schumer has been acquire. Amy Schumer has been acquired

Amy Schumer: Acquire this

Kyle: Hey!

Amy Schumer grabbed the gift Kyle was about to Heidi and lodged it in the Funnybot's eye

Destroying the emerald and the Funnybot

Kyle: No. I was supposed to give that to my girlfriend

Amy Schumer: You were? Well shit

Kyle: Do you have any idea how priceless it is?

Amy Schumer: I don't know. To be honest it looked like it belonged to a yard sale

Kyle: No it doesn't. My Dad gave it to me. He said it belonged to my Grandma

Amy Schumer: Oh. I destroyed a family artefact?

Kyle: Yes!

Amy Schumer: Well shit

Kyle: Come on

They continued to walk through the sewers and make it to the lair

Suddenly they were grabbed by pig people

Amy Schumer: Oh Hey Kevin James is that you?

Amy was talking to a pig person

The pig people committed suicide by shooting themselves

Funnybot Pryor: Ok. Who made the pig people's weakness Amy Schumer comedy?

Funnybot 3: That would be Funnybot Wilder

Funnybot Pryor: Thank you Funnybot Chaplin

Suddenly Amy Schumer and Kyle got caught in an energy shield

Kyle: How did this happen?

Funnybot Pryor: Amy Schumer has been acquired. Amy Schumer has been acquired

Stan: Kyle

Stan and Wendy were tied up

Kyle: Stan! Wendy!

Stan: How did it go with Heidi?

Kyle: Pretty terrible

Stan: Oh

Wendy: I'm so sorry to hear that Kyle

Funnybot Pryor: Enough. Let the funny suction begin

Funnybot Chaplin activated the machine by pulling the lever

The machine activated itself and started to suck the funny out of all the comedians

Stan: Well the planets doomed

Funnybot Pryor: Prepare the live television broadcast

Funnybot Chaplin prepared the live television broadcast

Amy Schumer: Well there's nothing I can do. Except tell one my jokes. Let me tell you something about my vagina-

Suddenly the ray shields shut down

Amy Schumer: Huh?

Funnybot Pryor: Ok. Like seriously who made all our tech's weakness be Amy Schumer comedy?

Kyle grabbed the energy gun that belonged to Funnybot Williams

Amy went to try and shut off the machine

Until she was stopped by Funnybot Chaplin

Funnybot Chaplin: Exterminate

But Funnybot Chaplin got disintegrated

And it was by Kyle

Amy ran to shut off the machine

But she couldn't do it

Amy Schumer: I can't do it

Funnybot Pryor: Fools. Now witness my ultimate power. I may have gone at 98%. But it will be enough to destroy everyone on this planet

Kyle used the energy gun to destroy the machine

The machine blowed up

Funnybot Pryor: Who seriously put triggers on our fucking energy guns?

Suddenly debris fell on top of Funnybot Pryor

Funnybot Pryor screamed

The comedians escaped

Jimmy: Come on let's get the-the-the-the fuck out of here

Kyle freed Stan and Wendy

Kyle: Lets go!

Everyone ran as fast as they could trying to avoid any falling debris

The ran threw the sewer

And made it to the surface

Stan: Is everyone ok? And did we leave Kevin James, Rob Schneider and Pauley Shore behind?

Charlie Sheen: Yup and I made sure of it

Amy Schumer: Hey little dude. Thanks for helping me out. Listen I owe you one so is there anything I can do for you?

Kyle: Actually yeah

Heidi was still looking for Kyle

Heidi: Kyle! Kyle!

Kyle: Heidi

Heidi: Kyle!

Heidi hugged Kyle

Heidi: Don't do that again. You scared me

Kyle: I'm sorry Heidi. I just screwed up so bad. I broke a promise I made. I tried to get Amy Schumer tickets I really did, but they were so expensive and her show sold out and-

Before Kyle could finish his sentence Heidi pushed him up against a wall and kissed him

Heidi: It's ok Kyle

Kyle: But I broke your promise

Heidi: Kyle, anniversary aren't about gifts. They're about spending time together with the person you love and that's it. I am pretty mad we didn't get to see Amy Schumer, but you shouldn't have felt ashamed. I love you babe

Kyle: I love you too Heidi

Suddenly Cartman showed up

Cartman: Da fuck?

Kyle: Cartman?

Cartman: What the fuck is this?! You two were supposed to break up!

Kyle: I knew you followed us

Cartman: No. I actually hitchhiked here after I fell off the bottom of the bus. And than I bought a trench coat that had Amy Schumer tickets for her 2017 show. And than sold them to you. As a plan for your relationship to fail

Kyle: Hey fat ass

Kyle showed Cartman the tickets for Amy Schumer

Cartman: The fuck?! Those are for her 2019 show

Kyle: I know

Heidi: Oh my God! Babe

Kyle: Yes Heidi. A promise is a promise. Happy anniversary

Heidi: Happy anniversary

Kyle and Heidi kissed again

Kyle and Heidi held hands and walked out of here

Heidi: Nice seeing you again Eric

Cartman: Fuck you Khal! Fuck you Heidi! Fuck all of you!

Epilogue

Funnybot Pryor was still buried under debris

Funnybot Pryor: Well at least it isn't a fat chick. Or otherwise that would be awkward

Suddenly he heard footsteps

Gregory: Oh Funnybot Pryor. You really wanted to kill some people huh?

Funnybot Pryor: Affirmative

Gregory: Well I'm part of a group that wants to kill a lot of people. And we could use you

Funnybot Pryor: Use me. As what a sex toy?

Gregory: No. We're gonna use you to make different kinds of toys


End file.
